Put One Paw In Frount Of The Other
by sarenelsoria
Summary: Leah's take on the Events in her life. Why she is what she is and what has formed her.
1. Chapter 1

Put one Paw in Front of The Other

Eclipse From Leah's point of view

Hello my name is Leah Clearwater and I am a wolf. Well part of the time anyway it is what I associate myself with more than anything. People think that I am a female dog and they would be correct in that assumption but what if dear reader, everyone was against you from day one? What if you had to spend almost every waking minute with a guy that you love and hate at the same time. I have had a hard life and I have my rights in being bitchy.

For example, two years ago I was a happy kid in high school with a boyfriend that I loved and I thought loved me. The next thing I know he is missing presumed dead, I look everywhere for him but can't find him. Where is my Sammy. Then he comes back and I know something has changed but I don't know what until he is dating my cousin. My cousin! The ultimate betrayal of kinship. They settle down and when you hear your cousin has been injured a part of you feels concerned and another part believes that she got what she deserved. Stealing away your Sammy like that.

If that is not enough your father the man you have always counted on to be there for you dies. I was utterly and completely alone no father no boyfriend and no friends just a kid brother. Then he gets sick and all hot. The next thing you know he is hanging out with Sam and his friends. After so much that has happened to you the one thing you could count on your brother is gone he has joined the enemy.

All of a sudden I feel strange, power course through me building on my anger it gets bigger and bigger until something snaps inside of me and then refines itself I am a wolf and my ex boyfriend is in my mind. He tells me that the legions surrounding our tribe are true and it is your responsibility to protect the tribe against vampires. I want nothing of him and his band of freaks, no matter how many times he explains impression to me it sounds like a cop out.

Then Jacob who you thought was meagerly emo becomes the happiest go lucky guy in the world. His friend Bella had decided to see him regardless of the fact that she is still seeing that leech.

Jacob goes so far as to invite her to our bonfire, our time to hang out and be normal teenagers. As if we could ever be normal with Quil impressing on a teenager and all the other weird shit we have to deal with. She looks at me every time she gets a chance, there is no way that I will let that leech lover see how much I hurt inside, I keep that hidden from even the pack.

The night of the forks graduation approaches and Jacob Quil and Embry actually go to an after party. Then I am informed of the fact that we will be fighting against newborn vampires, with not so much as an as your leave. We depart and find the Cullens had assembled on mass, Bella's boyfriend Edward I believe his name was our spokesperson and then another of them did some demonstrations. It was all so boring.

I must have been daydreaming because by the time I emerged from my inner, inner walls of my mind the pack is getting ready to go. The next weeks are nothing but preparation for the vampires and then the day finally arrives.

You get left outside, treated as though you were a pup when you are almost as old as the leader, you sulk until you get your chance a vampire escapes and you chase after it. Stupid Jacob fallows you and just when you have the thing he "saves you." getting him wounded in the process.

While he is recovering the stupid female vampire lover decides that she loves her man of ice more than Jacob. She then invites all of us to her wedding. Now that is a laugh as if I would be caught dead at a vampire party let alone a wedding.

Jacob meanwhile goes all catatonic and surly again, I would not mind except for the fact that it was bringing down the pack. You talk to him and explain how you should get over her and he launches Sam's name at me. The pack knows very well how difficult a subject Sam is to me I run off into the woods my mind in turmoil until Sam orders me to become human again. He is clearly playing favorites again, yeah Jacob lost someone he loved to another, big whoop so did I and they never acknowledge the difficulties I go through each day.

I would give anything to not have these wounds hurt so much. Don't you see reader I am portrayed as the big bad wolf because I am different. It seems no matter how many obstacles I face there will be one more around the corner.


	2. Chapter 2

Sitting with Seth

By Sarenel

Seth is there for much of the story, this is his take on the events of New Moon and Eclipse.

I do not own , or would presume to own the works of stephine myer we are truly not worthy.

As I watch Jacob sleep I cannot help but wonder what would have happened if I had been at the battle instead of my sister. Leah had to be just as good at everything as me and better at something. She was a girl, so of course she got to go and hunt vampires while I sat and baby sited Bella. Then again when it came down to what mattered she had failed and I was able to prove myself to the entire pack. They will not be leaving me the next time we go to battle with bloodsuckers.

Don't get me wrong I like Bella but it is so confusing to be looking at her and getting Jacob's emotions. Anyway off topic, this is my version of the events that happened, and of course my silly sister will have to write her own version.

Imagine this you are a normal kid with a normal life then suddenly your dad dies of a heart attack, your mind is in turmoil you don't know how your normal life changed into this. Your mother is devastated your sister is as well and suddenly at fourteen you have to be the man of the house.

After a while the anger just keeps building, it has no outlet and then He comes back. You don't know how to take him, you have been told the stories but you don't believe. There is no way the legends could be true.

Then your sister arrives home from school one day talking about her new boyfriend. Yu remember the last boyfriend she had over a year ago, his name was Sam and that was the one time your sister's life did not go as planned. He dumped her and went off with another girl Emily next thing you know they are engaged. Its all too much you can't handle your emotions anymore, you find a fury building within you until the world becomes distorted. Suddenly it seems as though you are twice the height you were and looking down at your terrified sister. You look down to discover that instead of hands you now have paws. Then you hear the voices in your head and for the first time in a long time you feel as though you belong.

Not just with these voices that happened to belong to guys you like and trust. Older guys that you can look up to and they are talking to you inside your head telling you to calm down. Explaining that all the old legions were true, that your duty is to protect the tribe against vampires. Suddenly you have a purpose again; your world did not end with your father's death rather it begun.

You calm down enough to get back into human form and then your sister suddenly demands, "What happened?" You explain about how you feel as though you finally belong to something and she flees off the handle saying how unfair it is and then she too is a wolf. A light grey and beautiful creature, you are upset because you know that you will never have anything of your own.

A few days pass and you go into the woods with the other guys looking for vampires. Of course you have to also go with your sister and see her face every time she sees Sam she has to go through the heartbreak of losing him again. Although she understands that Sam could not help but fall in love with Emily she still is upset at him. You have to look at your leader through the eyes of your sister and you begin to have dreams that are not your own dreams of kissing Sam. You wonder if Sam ever has dreams of kissing himself. No that would be too weird.

Each time you close your eyes you have to deal with Jacob's pain at losing his Bella to a b_loodsucking leech. _Then one day you see Bella come back to him he is so happy that it radiates out of him and fills you instead. He is not impressed upon Bella, but he loves her nearly as much as if he were.

Bella comes more and more often after the _leech _ gives her his permission. Then the bonfire party happens and Bella is there. It is perfect for everyone, accept maybe my sister she has to sit across from Sam and boy is I glad that I am not in wolf form. I might not be able to eat and when your growing as fast as I am and have the added bonus of turning into a wolf you need your nourishment.

Then the old stories are told and I am once more thankful for this gift that showed me I belonged. Even in the without wolf form Quill echoes my thoughts, I look at Bella for her reaction and find that she is enjoying the tale as much if not more then the rest of us. If I ever had a mate, or impressed I would want her to be as understanding as Bella. She looked at the man instead of the monster and I admired her for that, how many people could be best friends with a werewolf and love a vampire? The answer to that question was Bella.

The party started to wind down, but we had to escort her out, Bella was always falling into trouble and tonight was no exception, a vampire had been spotted and we had to make sure someone was with her at all times. We, that is to say Jacob got her back to Edward without mishap.

This event still makes me furious, we almost caught the leech, she was teasing us dancing on the territory line when one of the Cullens made a grab for her. He had no right he was on our land and we told him so rather forcefully using our natural talents. In the confusion the _leech _that would dare try to hurt Bella got away.

The next several weeks were busy ones for us we were constantly stalking the perimeters looking for her I hardly got any sleep between Jacob's worries and Sam's orders. Then an invitation came from Bella asking Jacob to attend the graduation party. Jacob was afraid that Bella was going to marry the _leech_, but he still had a little time to convince her not to. He went along with Quill and Embry and after the party they scheduled a meeting with the Cullen family.

I came of course and they all saw at once how inexperienced I am. Well in order to get experienced you need the chance. I was included into this family of werewolves only as long as it was safe for me to be I wanted as desperately as my sister to prove myself worthy of my name and pack. If only they would give me the chance I would show them how I could be an asset not a liability in a fight.

They showed us ways of fighting the vampires I paid as close attention as I could to what they were saying memorizing it in the hope of Sam and Jacob changing their mind. The_ bloodsuckers _wanted us to smell them so we would get their sent. I whined I couldn't help it, it escaped me, traitor to my fear and instant to shred this cocky vampire to pieces. Everyone looked at me and I knew their thoughts as clearly as if I could read minds. They thought I was too young I would prove them wrong somehow. We agreed to meet again to discus battle tactics.

The next day they taught us how unsteady newborn vampires are how easy it is to duck and weave to escape their clutches. I knew by then I would have to stay behind with my sister, well at least she would not be the hero while I was babysitter to Bella. I paid attention anyway to what they were saying the hope that they would take me with them.

I heard it on a patrol; my sister was going to be with the others when the vampires attacked. I on the other hand had strict orders not to go five hundred yards away from the place they decided to put Bella during the battle.

I knew then or thought I knew that I would never get my chance to prove myself worthy of being a Quileute of using this wonderful form, of my new family. Instead I would have to watch through their eyes and if one of them got injured or killed I would have to witness their pain.

The night before the battle I was at home and I knew Jacob was at Bella's I would have to leave early the next morning and go to the clearing. I stayed awake for a long time then finally feel into a fitful sleep.

The alarm woke me at six in the morning I felt as though I had not slept at all. I got out of bed and put my jeans on, they were a bit old and a pair I didn't care about. My mom had started to wonder how we went through clothes at the rate we do. I raced off into the clearing and got myself psyched up enough to transform.

After I transformed I raced to where Bella was, Jacob would not be pleased if I was late. When I arrived Bella was trying to free herself from Jacob. She foolishly asked for the _leech's _help and the next thing I knew my leader was on the ground. I could not help a growl escaping my lips.

Jacob ordered me silently to wait in woods while he said whatever he wanted to say to Bella. The vampire prudently stepped off into the woods he could read my mind and see the images of me tearing him to shreds. It would have to only be a thought until the treaty no longer was in place. I backed off into the woods and listened to Jacob's thoughts.

It was the typical I love her so much until she kissed him. The sly dog, he said he might not come back from the battle unless Bella gave him something to live for and boy did she ever. I came back to the clearing and the vampire returned as well. We settled down to wait out the battle.

I cannot tell you how hard it was for me to stay behind and tell Edward what was happening through my mind. My pack and family was in danger and I could not help. I was trapped here. Even now the memory of that night is nearly enough to get me to transform.

Then suddenly I smelt it, a cloying odor it wasn't any of the Cullens rather two vampires I had not seen before. I whimpered warning Edward but Jacob told me not to get five hundred yards away from the clearing unless vampires were attacking Bella. I had to stay while that sent got closer and closer. Jacob was too involved in the battle to revoke his orders now.

Then a boy entered the clearing his eyes were a dark red. He attacked Edward attempted to reason with him but already I knew he was beyond reason. He was protecting the _bloodsucker _that changed him that made me so furious that I lunged at him.

He was on the ground and I tore at him his severed hand went flying. He cried out his leader's name Victoria. I could not hold him he got to his feet and the _leech _kicked me I knew how to make the kick to my advantage. There was a piece of cartilage on a werewolf that would not do any lasting damage but made a sickening crunch.

I backed off limping, and circling showing that despite that the hurt weakened me I would fight till one of us die. I got him from the side a surprise attack I knew he could not have anticipated. I got another piece of him but still pretended to be hurt.

Suddenly he roared to life and I had to dace quickly away his swipe meant for me landedon the air. We circled once more and suddenly his fist caught my left flank. I was so surprised that I let out a yelp and I backed away my shoulder hut but I used the pain to my advantage.

He thought I was more hurt then I really was and was driving towards the cliff face and Bella. I snapped at the boy trying to get another piece of him. I decided to give up my injury once and for all and circled the boy instead, my tail suddenly felt icy cold suddenly I was touching Edward I quickly flicked it away. Edward and Victoria danced in deadly speed, the boy was side tracked I got another piece at him. He yelled at me and sent me flying into a rock wall. I momentarily was stunned and lost my breath. I used my back paws and collapsed just in front of Bella. I was mortified to discover that I had whimpered. The monster stopped in front of me preparing for the kill. Then suddenly Edward saved me, by ripping out the boy's arm giving me the time I needed to get to my feet.

I circled him once more looking for an opening he was afraid now and attempting to retreat. I saw my chance and rushed him.

I managed to bite his shoulder and his other arm was gone as well. He let out a screech. I lobbed his arm into the woods I could not help snickering I knew that I would win this fight now. The boy attempted to call out for his leader; this was between him and me not his leader. I launched myself at him and we both went into the trees.

It was darker here but I had the advantage over him now and tore piece after piece of him. Finally when I detached his head from his throat he stopped screaming but I continued to rip piece after piece of him. The next thing I knew Edward was helping me gather pieces of the boy.

We looked everywhere around where we had fought and gathered apparently every piece. Finally we were done and the bonfire was going strong. That boy would not be back again. I let myself make a satisfied snicker.

They began talking while I looked in on my pack. Everything appeared fine the battle was apparently over and then I saw my sister darting through the forest in pursuit of a vampire, Jacob was behind her trying to stop her. Then suddenly the monster turned on Jacob and before he could disarm or kill it, it had it's arms around him.

_Sam help him_ I shouted in my mind and a minute later Sam was bounding through the trees, he managed to kill the monster before it killed Jacob. was relived to discover that Sam had managed to kill the beast before it killed Jacob. My sister meanwhile was a gibbering wreck. I wanted to be there with them then Edward told me to go home.

I fled although I joined back up with the pack later and I am now sitting by Jacob's bed watching his morphine-induced dreams. I proved at a price that I was better than my sister at hunting vampires that day. That price almost cost Jacob his life, but next time the pack went off to battle they would take me with them.


End file.
